I empathize with your difficulties in getting flash to work well. I think almost everyone is having similar problems, which is why Steve Jobs wrote what he did about Apple and Adobe Flash (http://www.apple.com/hotnews/thoughts-on-flash/
I'm a big fan of Tiny Core Linux, but even this great OS sometimes bogs down under the huge CPU requirements of the latest versions of Flash. Here, for example, is a direct quote from the official TC FAQ page:
How to get flash working?
Short answer: see the getFlash9.tcz extension.
Flash 10 has such steep requirements, it is not supported on TC. The last working version was 10 beta 2, but due to the beta nature of that, using Flash 9 is recommended.
Don't use Adobe's installer, copy libflashplayer.so yourself to your browser's plugin folder.
To have sound in Flash using OSS, you need to copy libflashsupport (included in OSS.tcz) to both /usr/lib and your browser's plugin folder.
There are two variations of the library in /usr/lib/oss/lib, one only enabling OSS sound, the other enabling that and also playing flash over SSL. You need OpenSSL for the second library.
Depending on if you have OpenSSL loaded and need to use flash over SSL, pick one of the libs, and copy it to both /usr/lib and your browser's plugin folder, and then rename it to libflashsupport.so in both places.
Requirements: Flash 9 requires GTK+-2.
The only problem with that is that Flash9 has security problems, is no longer available for download, and often won't play the latest Flash material anyway.
Like you, I have had trouble lately with getFlash10 (and getFlash11)--though I assume the problem was just a function of the way I have installed TC 3.8.2 on my system. I do have Flash10.3 installed and working--and it works pretty well for most content.
However, Flash10 does push the CPU on my Eee900 to its absolute limit, sometimes causes crashes, and often tortures the hard drive. This is not the fault of TC3.8.2 so much as it is the fault of Adobe Flash as implemented in virtually all versions of Linux.