This is normal behavior for all processes in Linux that use RAM. Unused RAM is used, and then kept in cache until another process needs it or the cache is cleared, "cache-clear" in Tinycore will do it. The warning given by sce-import or sce-update in regards to RAM is on the safe side and is not considering cached RAM or swap space, and can usually be ignored. Hard drive or other storage space is another situation and the warning should be heeded there.
I don't see sce-update occupying more RAM on my desktop system after already browsing the web and other RAM consuming activities, as cached RAM that is no longer needed is used instead of empty or free RAM. Below is before and after the cache-clear command:
EDIT: I don't see the checking part of sce-update use much RAM, of course if the -r option is used then .deb unpacking happens in RAM, the total of which is the size of the uncompressed contents of what will be in the resulting SCE.
jason@box:~$ /bb/free
total used free shared buffers
Mem: 3860916 3715100 145816 322424 81264
-/+ buffers: 3633836 227080
Swap: 2047996 0 2047996
jason@box:~$ sudo cache-clear
jason@box:~$ /bb/free
total used free shared buffers
Mem: 3860916 1012004 2848912 324508 156
-/+ buffers: 1011848 2849068
Swap: 2047996 0 2047996
jason@box:~$