Ok, I figured out how to set the size of your swap file and make it permanent
Upgrade to XP, Right click My Computer, click Advance Tab, Click memory usage setting button, click Advance tab, under Virtual memory click Change button, then you can click Custom Size button and set the size of your swap file in MB, and click Set button.
Flash11 and sound now works for me finally, and icons no longer disappearing mysteriously off the start bar. Thanks for your help.