A good laugh for people in the over 60 group! ---uses US spelling, terms and conditions
When I bought my mobile phone, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Facebook, so that my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Facebook with only 140 characters of space. Before long I found that there were just hundreds of folk out there that one or the other had a friend that another friend knew from somewhere on the globe that wanted to be my friend also.
Next thing one of my grandkids decided I wasn’t “with it” enough and hooked me up for “Twitter” with something that sends a message to my cell phone on every program within the texting World.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything going on in the world except the bowel movements of the entire adult population. I am not ready to live like this. I now keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Woolies talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out
to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, anyway it was not a good relationship...When I do get lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."
P.S. I know some of you are not over 60. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.
We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle